Wishes, Hopes and Desires
by Dcal
Summary: This is a story about Nakuru. Her future seems bleak and she is at a lost at what she can do to change it.


**Wishes, Hopes and Desires**

Author's note: This is the revamped version, the no-so-confusing version of the original Nakuru story I posted a long while back. This story takes place about two years after the CCS second movie on the 53th card. I hope that I have managed to portray Nakuru, probably the most insignificant and ignored character in CCS, as she would have become. ^-^. This story consist of all three original chapters compact into one mega long saga. Enjoy and review! - - - Dcal.

(All standard disclaimers apply.) 

Her signature ruby red hair rippled like satin ribbons down her lean and supple back. Tears welled in her sorrow filled eyes as she stared at the young couple indulging in an intimate midnight interlude.

"They look so happy, locked away in their own rosy-red universe.' Whispered Ruby Moon as she fluttered away from the private scene.

She landed gracefully on the roof of Sakura Kinomoto's house. Her master and friend Eriol Hiragizawa had returned to Japan to visit his successor as he waited for his love, Kaho Mizuki, to return from her studies. As a guardian of the Clow, Ruby Moon faithfully returned to Japan with Spinel–Sun, the other guardian of the Clow.

In Japan, she was greeted with hugs and kisses from everyone, even Touya who once eyed her with a suspicious glare.

She sighed as her mind reviewed the situation in Japan. Sakura, now the official master of the former Clow cards, was blissfully happy with her beloved Li Shaoran who had finally returned from Hong Kong to be with his Cherie. They now both go to the same high school and spent almost every second in each other's

company.

Spinel and Kero are almost fighting everyday over video game scores and food tidbits. But Ruby Moon knows that both creatures are just pretending to hate each other when in reality, the two monsters really like each other! At least enough to snuggle against each other to have a nap, as Ruby Moon had ever observed. A unique pairing for the two 'stuffed-animals'. After being introduced to Kero, the prim and uptight Spinel has taken up playing mindless video games and neglected his research on ancient runes. According to Sakura, Kero has brushed up on his Latin so as not to lose face in front of Spinel.

As for Touya and Yukito, recovering his spiritual essences, Touya still hangs out with Yukito. Their relationship is almost as close as blood brothers. Touya is now at University and has little time to see Yukito but he still spends as much time as he can with his pal. Yukito after realizing that he is not human has decided to dedicate his life to food and protecting Sakura. Yue, Yukito's alter ego only appears in times of need or otherwise keeps hidden, only occasionally making sarcastic comments that are repeated by Yukito. 

As for Sakura's father, Fujitaka Kinomoto, he has proposed to Tomoyo's mother, Sonomi Daidouji. With approval from his deceased wife, Fujitaka has been courting Sonomi for the pass year. The power passed from Eriol to him enabled him to see his dead wife and was told by the spirit to live again and not pine for what's lost. For the spirit, nothing could be more right than for the two people she loved most to be together.

Tomoyo could not be happier with the relationship blooming between her best friend's father and her own mother. Tomoyo herself is attending a world-renowned music school; she was spotted by the schools scouts and was whisked of to better her music career. She now spends her time online chatting with her friend back home or studying the history of Mozart or checking out the cosplay sites to design more outfits for Sakura etc.

Eriol is now approaching his actual age of thirty- two. He has used what was left from his powers to speed up his physical growth to look like his age. He resembles the long gone Clow Reed with similar oriental black hair and facial features. Although he looks like the playboy Clow Reed once was, Eriol does not have a fickle heart like him. To Eriol, Kaho is the only woman in his life. Ruby Moon is living proof of that. As a creation of the Clow reincarnate, she resembles the slender Kaho with similar red hair and red brown eyes.

It seems like everyone has a pairing except her.

Sakura has her Shaoran.

Spinel has Kero to fight with.

Touya has Yukito and Yukito has his food.

Fujitaka and Sonomi have each other.

Tomoyo has her music and her new parents.

Enriol has Kaho the wait for, think of.

Who does she, Nakuru Akizuki aka Ruby Moon have?

She does not have a lover like Eriol.

She does not have a sweetheart like Sakura.

She does not have an enemy like spinel.

She does not have a good friend like Touya.

She does not have a passion like Tomoyo.

*

She stared at the perfect complexion before her. Her vivid red-brown eyes scrutinized every aspect of the snow-white skin. A thick crop of eyelashes framed each eye, accentuated by the dainty brows shaped to perfection.

Her gaze drifted to her straight nose, then down to her rosebud lips. There was no need for any cosmetics to beautify her face. It was almost perfection.

Taking her brush, she stroked the silky mane of her russet hair. Without the need for hair accessories, the hair already looked too beautiful to be real. To dull the mesmerizing tresses, she wove a few braids and secured it with clips.

She shed her nightclothes and donned a white cotton blouse and a red-checked skirt with suspenders to hold it up. The clothes fitted her like a glove. It punctuated her tiny waist and exposed her shapely limbs.

The overall effect was an image of an attractive teenage girl with a captivating grin. Tossing a last glance into the mirror, the girl turned and left the room.

---

"Ohayo, Nakuru! Have some breakfast. There's pancakes and toast," greeted an energetic Kinomoto Sakura.

Nakuru returned her good-morning greeting and scanned the crowd at the dining table. Fujitaka was reading the papers and nibbling at some toast. Eriol was staring into space again, probably thinking about his beloved Kaho and totally ignoring the steaming pancakes in front of him. As for Suppi and Kero, they were stuffing their faces with toast and tea. Sakura herself wore a cute apron and was flipping more pancakes and preparing more toast.

Nakuru grabbed a plate and piled the freshly toasted bread onto it. She smeared some jam and butter on the crisp bread and sat in Eriol's line of vision. He was now jabbing a fork at the pancakes and unconsciously took a bite of the battered pancake. His eyes were still glazed and he was totally unaware of anyone's

presence. Nakuru sighed.

After breakfast, Sakura brought Nakuru to the town's shopping complex. They had two hours to kill before meeting Shaoran for lunch at twelve. The duo took to shops by storm to scour for bargains and offers. Only when Sakura twirled in a tight summer dress did Nakuru realize than Sakura had filled out. She was almost

as tall as Nakuru and they both look like they go to high school together although Nakuru was in fact almost eight years older than her! Nakuru knew that her twenty-fifth birthday was coming soon. In three days to be exact.

The day Eriol created her twenty five years ago.

--

She remembered the first thing she saw in front of her was a boy of ten.

In his hand was a sun and moon staff that dwarfed his physical body. Deep night blue eyes pierced her new eyes.

She knew how she was created. Eriol had taken the essence of Yin and the quintessence of a full moon. Together he concocted a Luna potion. He then took bits of a willing Kaho, his childhood sweetheart, and conjured a physical body. Under a full moon, he performed the same ritual Clow Reed did and created a

Guardian of the Clow. The mage then imparted the western influenced magic to a newly born Ruby Moon. With it came the intelligence of the past and the reality of the future.

When she came across her first mirror, she saw a lithe figure of neither male nor female. She was an It. She relied on Eriol to fill in on what to do. She gradually learned how to do daily necessities like cleaning. She chose the female form as her front. Since her creation, she looked like a teenage girl on the brink on womanhood. Now she still retains her youthfulness.

'Nakuru' was a gift from Kaho. A name. Then Eriol created Spinel-Sun.

Nakuru could still remember the first time they exchanged glances. The somber eyes of the jaguar- like creature met to chirpy eyes of an excited red-haired girl. Nakuru finally had someone to relate to.

But Spinel was not what Nakuru expected. He was like Eriol, often researching for information on magic, a thing that Nakuru detested. He and Eriol would read together and hold discussions on various issues that Nakuru could not understand. Nakuru would carry out the daily chores and then sit at windows just

to stare at the sky, hoping for night to come.

It was during the night that Ruby Moon felt free. The dark released her soul. While Eriol and Spinel slept, Ruby Moon would take flight. The moon provided her with the power she needed to break free from her master for the hours of the night. She would soar across the vast countryside and search for a perfect place

to dance and play. A glistering stream or sweet-smelling meadow could captivate her. She would just lay and stare at the stars whilst she soaked the power of the moon.

But there were nights when the moon was only a nick of sliver in the sky or when rain clouds hide her essence. Ruby Moon could not roam and Nakuru had to rely on Eriol.

The Ruby Moon needed heavy doses of magic to sustain her powers, if she did not have enough magical power, Nakuru and Ruby Moon would vanish. That is why Nakuru has to stay close to the powerful Eriol. If she strayed for too long, the unthinkable would happen.

What she hated the most is that she had no freedom. The need for power that chains her to Eriol.

---

"Nakuru? Are you okay? You look a bit dazed. It's time to met Shaoran."

Her eyes finally seeing, Nakuru blinked at a concerned Sakura.

"Oh...er...I was just thinking about something. Some trivial matter... let's go grab a bite!"

Sakura was still staring suspiciously at her but left the matter at that.

Only when Nakuru caught a glimpse of her face in a shop window did she understand Sakura's concern.

She looked really sad and lonely, an expression that had been her constant companion these days. Quickly, she switched the look of despair into her 'sunny' look. They went off to lunch.

--

To the world she puts on her mask,

But within it hurts from Dawn to Dusk.

Split identities she has to play,

Until the Moon appears

To banish the day.

No one understands,

No one knows.

Inside she cries,

But outside it does not show.

*

Nakuru flung herself on to her bed, exhausted from wandering without a power source to sustain her physical form. She had left Sakura with Shaoran after lunch, as she knew the two lovebirds were anxious to be alone. She hated to play gooseberry.

For the pass few days Ruby Moon could not absorb enough yin from the moon, as the Luna was a mere slice in the night sky. Her master's power was only a fraction of what it originally was, thus barely able to sustain Ruby Moon's Nakuru. Even though she spent the whole morning with Sakura, Nakuru could only feed off the traces of power that radiated from her because Yue had first dibs on her.

Weak and tired, Nakuru drifted to sleep.

*

"Ruby Moon…….Nakuru……"

_"Hm……huh? Eriol? Is that you?"_

_Nakuru stared at the outline of the person in front of her._

_All she could make out was two blue piercing blue eyes that hypnotized her. Ruby Moon could sense the signature magic that Eriol used but this felt stronger more powerful._

_"Loyal Guardian of Clow. I am not Eriol. But he is part of me. I am Clow Reed. I have come to you because I know you are troubled. This was suppose to be a time of peace and happiness for those involved in the capture and changing of the Clow Cards._

_But now, I realised that I have neglected you._

_Ruby moon, you were created to help Eriol and dissuade Yue from rekindling and feelings for me onto Eriol, enabling him to carry out his mission._

_Now that your purpose has been fulfilled, you no longer have any cause to exist. It does not seem fair that the other guardians have found happiness and peace whilst you suffer in the dark._

_Thus, my dear Ruby Moon, you would soon lose the will to live if you do not find some joy in living. I do not want you to give up so easily._

_I hope you would think hard and find out what you, Nakuru, really want."_

_A lone tear slides down Nakuru's cheek._

_*_

" Nakuru-Chan! Wake up! Why are you crying?"

" Huh? Suppi-chan?" Mumbled a sleepy Nakuru.

Sitting up and rubbing the sleep from her eyes, Nakuru realised that her cheeks were wet. Could the dream really be true?

Spinel-sun stared at Nakuru. Why was Nakuru crying in her sleep? She was always so happy. Something did not seem right.

At that moment, Kero ecstatic exclamation," Octopus Cakes!" echoed throughout the house. Spinel, caught between the urge to rush for his favourite dish and the concern for his follow guardian, had his face screwed up into a tormented wide-eyed look.

Smiling as she saw his dilemma, Nakuru said," Suppi-chan, go help me save some cakes, don't let Kero-chan have it all. Go on, I am fine."

Grateful for the break, Spinel immediately dashed out of the room and let out a war cry.

"_I hope you would think hard and find out what you, Nakuru, really want."_

**_What do I really want?_**wondered Nakuru.

**_A companion_****,** said a voice from the back of her head.

**_How can I get one?_** She asked herself.

**Freedom. **Answered the voice.

Freedom. Nakuru tasted the word on her tongue. She had never experienced freedom. Freedom from her need for power. Freedom from the power that bind her to Eriol.

With freedom, Nakuru could go as she pleased without worrying that she would faint from the need for power. She would not have to stick by the rote of the moon.

She would not fade like Yue.

*

"Shaoran-kun, do you think that Nakuru has been acting weird lately? She often drifts off to some unknown place and she seems very tired and weak." Asked Sakura as she and her beau strolled down a pebbled path.

" Hm… … Now that you mentioned it, Naruku does seem kind of sad and tired. She does look quite lost and confused at times. She does not smile that much too. Maybe we should talk to Yue about this. If anyone can relate to her, he should be the one." Replied an equally concerned Shaoran.

As the sun began to set, the couple hurried to Yukito's food shop.

*

Touya and Yukito were having tea when Sakura and Shaoran walked into the little tidbit shop.

" Well, what are you two monsters doing here?"

" Who are you calling monster!" shouted Sakura and Shaoran in unison.

" Touya! Stop playing around! Welcome to Moon Light Tidbit Shop! Do you want some green tea? I have a freshly brewed pot 

here. Come have a seat." Inquired a gracious Yukito.

Taking their seat, Sakura and Shaoran proceed in explaining what they discovered about Nakuru, on her queer behaviour. Yukito closed his eyes for a while before answering the questions directed at his alter ego, Yue.

" He says that Ruby Moon could be getting weak because Eriol's lost of power is taking a toll on her and Nakuru. Unfortunately, Ruby Moon does not have an available and willing power source like he had. Ruby Moon does not have a Touya to rescue her. That could explain why she looks and feels tired and weak.

As for her sadness, Yue does not have a clue why. I guess we have to figure that out. We could ask Eriol. He is or was the original 'Clow Reed' after all."

Thanking Yukito for his help and giving a curt farewell to Sakura's brother, the duo left Yukito's tidbit shop and headed to Penguin Park in search for Eriol.

*

They found him at the edge of a pond, staring at the carp swimming in its clear depths.

" Eriol! Snap out of it! We need your help. It concerns Nakuru."

Blinking, Eriol emerged from his stupor.

" Oh, Sakura and Shaoran. Why? What's wrong with Nakuru?"

" She's not being herself lately. I think that she has some problems or something. Do you have any idea why she is so down?" asked Sakura, her brow furrowing.

" Hm… she seems already to me. Maybe she is suffering from homesickness? I don't know.

" Oh, Snap out of it Eriol! Stop being so self-engrossed. You have been moping around these days and have not been paying attention to you guardians! What kind of magician are you?

Just because you made Sakura you successor that does not mean that you can relax and leave Sakura to do all the work! She does not have to do this you know!

She is concern for a friend. Do you even treat Nakuru as your friend? Or merely a creation that you can no longer be bothered with?" ranted Shaoran.

" Who are you to tell me off?" Eriol replied with his usual coolness.

" What do you know about me? Do I not deserve some time off?

I manage to shed my responsibility and you will not even allow me to enjoy this freedom. You think that I do not care for Nakuru?

I have treated her like my very own daughter. I am sorry that I have not noticed her but I have other things on my mind! "

Now the two men, one who have seen the world and the other just discovering it, stood face to face. Cool blue eyes luminous with silent fury stared at the other pair of eyes, brandy brown, burning like the liquid.

Unable to take the tension any longer, Sakura shouted," Stop it! We are here to talk about Nakuru, not stirring up differences! Eriol, you have been self-centered lately! Please stop it. Your melancholy is depressing."

Turning to Shaoran, "As for you, Shaoran-kun, you were here to help me find a solution to help Nakuru not to attack Eriol! "

After having her say, Sakura turned and headed home. She did not want to deal with them any longer. She wanted to help her friend and this was not working.

*

" Hi dad, is Nakuru home yet?"

" Ah! Sakura, I think that she is in her room. Kero and Spinel are in your room gorging on the octopus cakes I bought for them. They are so lovable. Well, I have to go now. Dinner is in the oven." Kimonoto-san replied as he picked up his tattered leather briefcase and gave Sakura a kiss on the head before he headed out.

Smiling faintly, Sakura headed for her room, maybe Kero and Spinel can shed some light on what Nakuru's feeling.

*

"Sakura!!!! You're back! Want to try some Octopus cakes? They are delicious! "

Mumbled Kero, his cheeks stuffed with the offered tidbits.

" No thanks. I've a question for you and Spinel. Does Nakuru-chan seem distracted and sad these few days?"

" Oh yes! She looked really sad just now when I went into her room. She looked like she was crying in her sleep. She said she was all right. And Nakuru-chan even asked me to save some cakes for her. But she has not come out to get them." Replied Spinel, a frown upon his brow.

Sakura stood up and headed for the door. " I think I better go talk to her. Save me some cakes." She said before exiting.

*

Nakuru sat on the bed, just staring into space. Her long and slender fingers fiddled with a stray lock of hair unconsciously.

She was snapped out of her trance by the insistent the knocking of the door.

" Nakuru-chan, it's Sakura. Can I come in?"

" Uhm… yes…"

Sakura entered the room and was taken aback by the image of Nakuru. Dusk spread its remaining rays onto the pale figure poise on the bed. She had never see Nakuru so upset and disillusioned before.

" Nakuru," using her first name, " are you feeling okay? You seemed to be so…so troubled and tired lately." Sakura inquired.

Staring into the kind evergreen eyes, Nakuru could no longer control the outburst of words that just gushed out.

She told the Card captor about her loneliness, her emptiness. Words flowed and mingled with the tears that streamed out, taking the sadness with them, leaving an exposed and empty soul that reflected in the clear depths of Nakuru's eyes.

Sakura could not hold back her own tears; it represented the sadness that she felt for her friend.

The sun lingers to the limits; its light silhouettes the two figures hugging. An apt backdrop to this sad episode.

*

" Release!"

The staff of the Stars glowed in the darkness of the night.

" Nakuru, Ruby Moon, are you ready?"

A silent nod.

" Hope card! Grant my friend a light of hope. Release and Dispel!"

A ghost of a girl, in a long white robe that flowed as she flew into the night sky, emerged from a pastel pink card. She circled the proud figure dressed in reds and blacks.

Suddenly the night sky parted to expose the Moon that was blocked by black clouds. It's light cast a magical glow on Ruby Moon. The girl from the card held the ruby heart she carried above her palms. She closed her eyes and the heart started to spin and it was soon a sphere. The card captor stepped forward together with the Guardian and both stared at the scene that was appearing in the spinning sphere.

*

There was a cat-like creature and girl with long red hair, both facing each other. Then a voice, familiar one. Suddenly, light burst from both characters. They were lifted from the ground and started to revolve round an invisible circle. Then, they transformed. The cat into a panther, the girl into a woman.

The voice again. 

Another blast of light. The heart stopped spinning.

*

"I know what to do."

*

" Is everyone here?" Eriol asked.

Sakura, Shaoran, Yukito/Yue, Touya, Kero.

And of course, Spinel and Nakuru.

" Are you sure you are up to it Eriol? Your magic would diminish even faster that normal."

" Yes, I can do it. It's the most I can do for my Nakuru. Why would I want this power any longer? I have no use for it. What about you Suppi?"

" Yes, I'm willing to go through with it."

Final question

"Are you ready Nakuru?"

" Yes"

*

" Release."

" I, Eriol of Clow, bid you to return to your original form. Ruby Moon. Spinel Sun."

Two figures transformed while others stood back.

"As your creator, I Eriol, unbind thee from the sun and thy from the moon."

Ribbons of wind twirled wildly around the panther and the woman.

" Ruby Moon, I cast upon you the spell of the light. To survive, you would fed off the light of the sun, fire, heart. Ruby Moon now reborn as Sun Sapphire.

Spinel-sun, I cast upon you the spell of the night. To survive, you would fed off the moon, the darkness and the shadows. Spinel-sun now reborn as Amber Luna."

A blue sphere of magic encircled the woman, a rain of magic washed down upon her. Her ruby red hair turned into a mass of ocean blue, her eyes a golden brown, a shade lighter than her original dark red-brown eyes. Her butterfly wings turned black and blue.

A golden sphere of magic enclosed around the panther, a scatter of sparkles caressed the midnight black fur and blue-black wings. Each touch turned the black fur into a red-brown coat that gleamed. Wings formerly blue, turned red.

The transformation, complete.

*

The woman, with wavy blue-black hair, waved to the crowd that gathered to see her off. Tears sparkled in her golden brown eyes.

With a final smile, she turned and walked away.

*

The End

*

Author's note again: So? How was it? Please humour me with a review ^-^.


End file.
